Is There A Meant To Be?

Some things really are meant to be.

I don’t think I would have said that two years ago. I was resigning myself that things aren’t meant to be before I met Christina. I was actively trying to teach my brain a new thought process when it came to relationships and love.

I’ve always been a dreamer. And, being a dreamer has always worked out for me. Early on in my youth I knew I wanted to be a police officer. I started picturing myself in a uniform, screaming down a street in a patrol car with the lights and sirens blaring off the buildings as I was going to some high risk call. I probably spent more time in high school day dreaming of being a cop than actually paying attention in class which might explain my stellar grades.

Once I fulfilled that dream, I started picturing myself on the SWAT team. I wanted to have the cool rifle and other gear, and the big pager that could go off at any time signaling an emergency that only a select few police officers were trained to handle. I started to see myself in the gnarly SWAT uniform. And, in 2003 I made the team on my third tryout.

Then, I had this crazy idea that I wanted to be a writer. I dreamt of the day I signed a contract with a publisher or a literary agent. I could see my name on the front of a book.

Being a dreamer has worked out for me except for one aspect of my life:  my love life.

While it would be a funny and often unbelievable story, the ten years since my divorce has had one theme, crazy. But, I’m not writing to bash anyone. And it wouldn’t really be fair since there are two sides to a story.

I’ve always dreamed of having a fulfilling and great relationship with someone to grow old with. I’ve always wanted to type of relationship that other people pointed to and said, “They were meant for each other.”

And I wasn’t naïve. I’d been through a divorce after a seven year marriage. I dated a good bit and been in several exclusive relationships before I met Christina. I kept dreaming, and kept trying. But, after nine years of dating I was starting to think I needed to set that dream aside. I either needed to resign myself that I was going to be single, or I needed to lower my standards. I slowly started to kill that dream. I think I had to at that point.

Then I went out with Christina last August. We got married a year later.

I never would’ve met her if her father hadn’t been sick. Christina lived in upstate New York, her parents lived in Aiken, about thirty miles from me. She decided to re-locate after her kids were on their own so she could be closer to her parents and help her mom take care of her father. He passed in January of this year.

Shortly after Christina and I were dating, my grandmother passed at 95. We were both there for each other during that time, and I’m thankful for that.

As our relationship progressed and we were talking marriage Christina told me that she didn’t necessarily care about an engagement ring. At the time she was working in a manufacturing plant and couldn’t really wear if she was out on the floor. And, I don’t think she would disagree with this, but she isn’t really a jewelry type of person.

So we decided to get some wedding bands. The cheaper the better. That would give us more money for a honeymoon.

Then my grandfather offered Christina my grandmother’s engagement ring and wedding band. We were floored. He shared almost seventy years with my grandmother. I can’t express how touched we were. When we saw the ring for the first time, we were both a little shook up. It fit perfectly. Christina told me later, if she was going to pick out a ring, it would’ve looked exactly like my grandmothers.

Then, a few months later we took her mom shopping and stopped at Belk’s. Our wedding day was coming up so we decided to check out male wedding bands at the jewelry counter. We wanted one to match Christina’s ring, and were browsing when her mom offered us her father’s ring. Again we were surprised and unbelievably grateful.

Christina’s dad probably weighed just over a hundred pounds when I met him.  I remember thinking that there was no way the ring would fit on me. We went back to her mom’s house and she went in her bedroom and came out with her husband’s wedding band.

It fit perfectly.

My grandmother passed away before her seventieth wedding anniversary. Christina’s father passed away before his fiftieth wedding anniversary.

We are starting our marriage with rings that collectively saw almost 120 years of marriage.

Some things really are meant to be.


I’m going to take a break from writing here for a few months. We have our honeymoon coming up, and I’m having trouble coming up with ideas and the time to write. I have to decide if I’m going to renew my subscription with Square-Space in November, so that will give me a couple months to figure out what I’m going to do. I hope to have a new book out in a few months, but that process will also take time.

I can’t thank you all enough. Some of the feedback has been unbelievable, and humbling. As always, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I’ve enjoyed writing.