Sorry About Last Week, I'm Putting My Big Boy Pants Back On

Ok, this is the second time in two weeks I've been about two thirds the way through a blog post and good old Square Space Shuts down. And guess who has to re-type the post from memory? This guy does. And that sucks. Especially when I'm drinking pre-vacation rum drinks.

Anyway. So, I read last weeks post again tonight. I had re-read it the day after and made some editing changes, and didn't like the post then. I really didn't like it tonight.

I thought about deleting it, but that wouldn't be an honest representation of who I am.

I was sincerely jealous of Tara Wood's and Brian Panowich's success. And, apparently I wanted to whine about it. Like a little kid.

When I read it tonight I felt like I sounded like a whiney little kid who was jealous that I didn't have the cool toy that my friend up the street had.

And I'm not a whiney little kid.

Well, maybe, after a few drinks and discovering that two writers that live in the same zip code as me have had some amazing success and are going on book tours I turn into one. At least for a little while.

But, I'm done with that.

The truth is, I'm sincerely happy and excited for both of them. I can probably count the books I've read twice on two hands, and Bull Mountain was one of them. The next time I'm in Barnes And Noble, I'm sure I'll pick up a copy of, "I Just Want To Be Perfect." That would never be the type of book I'd buy. But, she's a local author, and I want to support her.

That is the real me. I'll support both of them as much as I can. I loved Bull Mountain, and I have really enjoyed reading Tara Wood's blog. They are amazing writers. They deserve any success coming their way.

So, was I being a whiney little bitch last week. I thought about deleting the post, but that was how I felt at the time. And I'm not going to run away from that.

Which leaves me where I am. And that necessarily isn't a bad spot.

The analytics on the blog have continued to grow. I appreciate any new readers, and hope you enjoy my posts. Apparently I had 6 new visitors the other day. Just in case you were wondering, I'm not always a whiney little kid.

I'm off to the beach in the morning. I'm going to stop past and see my grandmother on the way. She's in her mid-nineties, fell a few weeks back and broke some bones in her face so she's at the rehab center in the community she lives in with my grandfather. They have been together a long time. And they set the example for so many things. Just by the way the live, they remind me, not to be a whiney little kid.

They live for each other.

And a lot of times, that is all that matters.

I've been here forty one years. I grew up in Maryland, went to college in Georgia, became a police officer in South Georgia, and now am a shift Lieutenant with a Sheriff's Office in Augusta. I've seen a lot in life.

I've seen people shoot themselves. I've given CPR to countless adults, a few kids, and three infants. I've chased murderers in my car in and on foot. I've been married. I've been divorced. I'm a father to the most amazing eleven year old girl I know. I've dated all sorts of women, including a crazy one that faked cancer for attention. I've been in so many high speed car chases, I've lost count. I've been punched in the face, and  head-butted so hard I had to get stitches, and broke a guys leg once when I tackled him. I've heard a bullet whiz by my head and heard the crack as it continued into a void. I've experienced miracles on more than one occasion. I've seen a baby being born. I've seen people at their worst. And, I've seen people at their best. 

And I was bitching about the success of other writers that live in the same zip code as me?

Screw that.

I'll take a lesson from my amazing grandparents and won't complain about all that again. I'll live for the people that I love.

Sorry for last week. It won't happen again. And, I'm sincerely happy for both Brian Panowich and Tara Wood. I hope the words come easy and fast for you both. You are amazing writers and deserve all the success coming your way! I can't wait to read more!

I'm going to hoist up a beer hoping good old SquareSpace doesn't shut me down before I save this one. Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there. And to the moms pulling double duty, y'all are amazing. I respect ya'll so much. I don't know how you do it.